| Raaaah! |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|12:34 am] |
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| |  blah | ] |
I have to be up for work in seven fricking hours; stupid me decided to get my guitar out to play two stupidly simple riffs really badly twice, therefore learning nothing but how shit I am so I get annoyed and put the guitar down. But now I'm really awake. And annoyed 'cause I wanna learn but I'm shit. Gah!
I'm super stressy, anxious and down again lately, not all the time but still it's a little worrying, especially considering it's a billion times worse late at night so I don't get enough sleep which makes it worse the next day. Viscious circle kinda thing. It's annoying because I've got nothing to feel bad about; there's nothing wrong exactly I just feel...bad. I'm quite sure I should go back on my tablets; as much as I really wanted to stay off them I don't want to be bad when I'm going to uni since that'd pretty much fuck the next 3 years of my life up with first impressions and all. The only thing is I was pretty much forced to come off of them in the first place (by parents and Harris who are convinced anti-depressants are a cop out) so there's no way I'd tell them I'm back on them, which means I'd have to pay for them myself and I really can't afford them. I mean, I'd rather not go on them again but the doctor was adimant that I shouldn't try to come off them when I did. Guess I should've listened in the first place eh?
I have pretty much a whole week off next week so I'm gonna be doing a whole lot of sewing/making and sorting. Need to get my ebay really going as I figured when I'm not working for the month before I go away it'll bring in at least a little bit of money so I wont need to take so much out of my savings.
OH! Woolacombe's not happening. I'm pretty sure it's not anyway. Which pisses me off. I know I can't force people to go but I thought everyone loved it there and would want to go back. Also, it means I might be able to work one more week if we don't go, so if I leave and it doesn't happen then I will not be a happy bunny.
Harris isn't texting back. Knob. We've been bickering loads lately, it makes me want to cry. Which is silly because it's only stupid stuff, but I know my whole stressing/anxious shitness current state really isn't helping things. I try to explain it but he doesn't understand. I get worried he thinks I'm attention seeking.
Contemplating whether to buy some red heart fairy lights from ebay since they're dead cheap and would be nice for uni...I'm fully kitting my room out with as much tat as possible to make it all cosy. Any ideas welcome lol. |
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| Note to self: |
[Sep. 16th, 2007|06:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
STICK TO DIET!
Start my new job tomorrow.
*Nervous* |
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| Too Late: Frozen - Type O Negative |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|09:19 am] |
So you've come to say you're very sorry.
"It won't happen again - forgive me?"
Time will not heal these wounds.
And I'm bleeding because of you.
Was everything we had just a joke?
I've run out of patience, tears and hope.
Love does not conquer all.
And I'm screaming because of you.
Too late for apologies.
In the shadow of the light from a black sun.
Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb.
Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection?
I'm freezing.
Cold winter winds that chill my heart with sleet & snow.
Not from the north come to this glacial abode.
But from your dimension cryogenic limbo.
I'm freezing.
I'm frozen.
It's too late. |
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